Solo Travel: How to Hurdle your Fears of Traveling Alone

I have two crucial saboteurs to my GRRRL TRAVELER challenge: Becoming a Female Solo Traveler. Unless I find a way to deal with them, my plans are stillborn and I will not clear my challenge hurdle.

Here’s some steps I’ve taken as an attempt to deal with them:

FEAR #1:   A Lone Female traveling in a Developing Country is Unsafe.

…Just ask my mom- you’ll hear the above replied.

There’s a tendency to see another countries and cultures as scary because it’s  foreign. Foreign equates unsafe. The notion of a third-world country only heightens that paranoia. Meeting cultural change in a new country and as a female traveler, means acknowledging new territorial rules, political systems, social customs, traditions and laws that you will be expected to abide by when you’re traveling. It is wise to approach any new cultural surrounding with a bit of caution. And as a female solo traveler, you must do your homework about the country, its religious values and social traditions. How should a woman act and dress?

Solution: Choose a safe country to begin with.

Safety is a large priority in my mind. It defines my comfort level and the overall confidence I have that I will be able to deal with any emergencies which arise. A good starter country for me- Thailand, in this case- needs to be reassuring, relatively safe and present at the most, “bite-sized” chaos and dangers.

a.  Take your dream list of countries; select the one which appears manageable.

Go with your gut instinct.  It will help you filter your list to something smaller.

b.  Check out country travel warnings

www.travel.state.gov is a good resource for checking out possible dangers of each country for U.S. travelers and it’s kept fairly up to date. Minor warnings of crimes: scams, petty theft and pick-pocketing, may seem scary, but are fairly common. Major alerts like political unrest or violent crime  are big and brilliant red flags best avoided.  While initially I had planned on backpacking through Guatemala, it was not a good starter country for me. It’s propensity to violent crime, high poverty,  bus hijacking (buses are its primary transportation) and its community’s tension towards women traveling alone (in lieu of recent child snatching cases)… did not inspire confidence I’d be safe as a beginning soloist.

c.  Get different perspectives and feedback.

Ask friends for feedback/advice on your country, especially if they traveled there. Also read travel blogs, reviews and travel forums for other travelers’ experiences.  Ideally, I want to hear encouraging things about a country’s safety, bearing in mind to also take all feedback with a grain of salt. While an online article recently listed Thailand as one of the Top 10 Most Dangerous Countries for Travelers, the enthusiastic personal accounts from friends/other female travelers about it being “travel-friendly” and safe was very reassuring.

d.  Consider purpose-driven travel, such as volunteer programs, schooling, training, home stays.

Volunteer, home-stays, schooling and reputable NGO programs allow you to make a positive impact on a developing country as a form of tourist-ing it. With volunteer programs, the downside is- they are typically available to those who can afford a base sum of $1200+/week (flight not included).

e.  Blend-in ability.

“Try to blend into the culture where ever you go-  act and dress like locals and not a tourist.” is typical travel advice.  And if you’re a card-carrying member of the ethnic race- use it! I know if I choose an Asian country – the fact that I’m Asian, myself, lends to the possibility of local blending!

Additionally,a couple of alternate things to consider- although I wouldn’t necessarily rule out a country, if it didn’t meet these requirements:

Research out the Transportation options available in your country

Is the main form of transportation hitching a bull-cart? Ideally, I’d like to have safe transportation options: reliability, frequency and connections.  However with developing countries, often I’m looking at just one (two if I’m lucky) form of transportation to get me around.

With Guatemala, public buses and tourist vans were the primary means of wheels. Considering the prevalent problem with bus hijackings, I felt I’d be rolling the dice, saying a prayer and leaving my life up to fate.  Thailand’s transportation system on the other hand- bike, scooter, bus, taxi, tuk-tuk, railway, metro, boat, Skytrain, motorcycle taxis,…-you name it, they have it all!

Take a sightseeing 1-3 day tour package options

I’m not a big “touristy tour” person but tour packages provide “a safe formula”: they skirt you to sights quickly and help you to efficiently check off your sightseeing checklist. As a result, they afford you more time to enjoy the remainder of your days at a slower pace and free you up so you can seek out more cultural interactions.  Another perk – you have the opportunity to meet fellow travelers on tours.

For me, Thailand’s plethora of available and easy-going GRRR! budget day tours gives me an option as to whether I want to receive itinerary support through a pre-planned tour.

SOLUTION #2:  Determining the length of your vacation stay

HOW LONG is too much or too little? This is a personal decision- it depends on how confident you feel you’ll be able to handle your solo-ness in a foreign country.

A large part of me was tempted to  3 weeks to a month, because I’m a slow traveler and this is just enough time for me to ease in and get quality time in, without feeling the stress of a rushed experience. However, the ugly head of fear arose: What if I hate being there and things are going wrong?? I cut my trip short to 2.5 weeks (with the option of an extension if I find it navigating solo manageable)
OK- so after I get the green light on the safety factor and a have a good feeling about my starter country, I hit my second roadblock of fear: committing to my trip.

FEAR #2: I NEED MORE TIME TO DECIDE AND AM NOT READY TO BOOK MY TICKET JUST YET…

SOLUTION #1:  Just Do It: Book the flight ticket ASAP!
Booking the ticket can actually be the biggest hurdle to travel fears.
Why? Up until this point, I’ve just been planning and dreaming. Until I’ve booked my ticket, my travel dream is a big What If, and vulnerable to endless hypothetical reasons as to why I should not go. What if I am stranded or encounter theft? What if I get sick and no one is around? What if there aren’t any western toilets?… By attempting to solve all my worries before I book my trip, I easily find myself plowing a huge excuse for my trip to NOT happen.

So I close my eyes, mantra my confidence that this country will work for me and that all the open pieces will fall into play once I ….LEAP!

SOLUTION #2:  Deal with logistics later.

Men can sometimes be great examples of good risk-taking. They are directed by a simple and practical thought of-  Should a future problem arise,  I will find a way to deal with it! While I know most of my travel worries are extraneous and have a 20% probability of occurring, I also know I can never prevent a bad thing from happening if it’s meant to happen. What I CAN DO – learn to trust myself to deal with problems when they arise; not create them beforehand.

SOLUTION # 3:  Trust your GRRR!  NEVER underestimate your instinct for survival

When there is a will to survive, you WILL find a way. I have gotten into some tight travel spots where I was alone, thinking I was screwed. But in emergency survival situations- I have always pulled from my resources some solution or a work-around to get me through and I have always found help from strangers, when I called upon it.

So now let’s book my flight!

Until…  Christine