Pass the Paper: Experiencing Culture Shock in Korea

Photo of fellow EPIKer Amanda‘s ppt game

So you live in a new country, you’ve got a new job, you’re working out the variables of navigating new food, new work relationships, cultural and communication barriers… so why are you depressed?  Welcome to culture shock.

Nothing you do can prepare you for what you think you will or won’t experience when you move abroad.  As a traveler who thrives on experiencing cultural lifestyles, my experience of culture shock feels… surprising. I’ve lived in 4 different cities, I’ve often either traveled or lived remotely for work and I’m finally experiencing my dream of living abroad!  So why the hell am I in the 2 month zone and am still undergoing the culture shock I experienced a week after my move?

“Pass the Paper” is one of the many games circulating for effective EFL teaching (my current expat job) . Many thanks to fellow EPIKer & blogger, Amanda, for renewing this EFL teaching game for us. Game objectives: you pass a crumpled paper (ball or any object, really) around in a circle as the music plays. When the music stops, the person left holding the paper/ball answers the question that’s been posed.   For my purposes, I’ll call it the “PASS THE PAPER: BLAME GAME“. So let’s begin (you’ll have to imagine the music, but I would choose something of a serenade)…

As an expat, WHY am I still experiencing Culture Shock?
Answer: You can blame it on…

1) The Weather
While we’ve officially moved into spring, Ms Korea’s winter weather lingers and seems, shall we say- depressed? 3/4ths of my day is spent freezing, it’s been ice-cold gray everyday & the bite on my ass each time I go to the bathroom reminds me of reasons why I wish I were back in the U.S. Not to mention, the ice-cold tap water in the sink faucets of my workplace only inspire “fingertip washing”; and being bundled in the same green coat daily, despite my wardrobe change, acknowledges the idea that an effort to change makes no difference .

2) Yellow Dust
It’s an itch you can’t scratch but you’ll cough yourself raw if you’re not careful. Take it from me- I just got back from the hospital because my violent fits of cough gradually blossomed into a cold. You’ll learn to always carry a face mask.

3) The words “Commitment” & “Perseverance”
Traveling and vacationing in a foreign country is different from living in it.  Like it, love it or hate it, you’re married to your apartment, your co-workers, your work environment and everything attached in cultural difficulties, weather climate, strange foods, etc..  Your “one year work visa”  can sound the ring of “a prisoner’s bell” if just one or a couple of these things are hitting rocky roads. Life not only requires effort, but also translation.  Each one step procedure in the U.S. could easily take you 3+ steps to do.

4) Separation from your Support Group:
You feel like you’re floating a bit in a void.  Your family, your friends, your normal life patterns- these things that naturally ground you in your daily life are no longer. Comfort foods, regular workouts and hobbies which help leverage a balance, when you’re shaky must find substitutes

5)  Separation from the Familiar results in…
Feeling like you’re in a vacuum and you went from whole to hollow in an instant. This can ultimately create feelings of:
a) an identity crisis
Panic. Your identity wants to cling onto something familiar to ground for survival, but can’t.
b) feelings of lacking belonging
We all need to experience belonging whether we strive to fit in or not.  Despite whether you feel a strong patriotism to your country or not, whether you’re American, Canadian, South African, English, etc..  you belong to a world of tradition, social values, traditions, philosophies, etc… and this is attached to a feeling of community.
c) Feelings of Helplessness, Loneliness and Isolation
You feel alone. Despite how many friends you have or the effort you make to go out exploring the country, you can’t remove the feeling. It’s something that’s innate with the country and within the experience of living outside your comfort zone.

6) Language barriers
I get tired of having to “speak slow-ly all the- time as if – I’m pau-sing between- each three words- or sy-llables.” After uttering a sentence like that, who wants to have a whole conversation? In language, you feel severed from your English roots and then,  feel like you’re given inadequate water to keep alive. That’s how it feels. Too much overwhelm and shock, not enough ease and comfort.

You learn to double-check your expressions when speaking with Koreans so as not to tempt confusion and a long-winded cultural explanation. Just stick to easy topics and short elementary sentences. Pull back on your desire to slip and say “Hey, how’s it going?”…  Stick to the textbook: “Hello, how are you?”

7) A bad co-teacher or living situation
So you didn’t get the warm welcome you were expecting. Meanwhile you know others are treated like royalty at their schools or have an awesome friendship repertoire with their co-teacher. While I am happy for people with fortunate circumstances, a part of me secretly whispers, “Why not me?” Nope, didn’t receive a tour of my own school, let alone exotic classroom field trips. Not a penny was spent on my behalf: not on dinner, drinks, a thought /effort made towards goodwill escapades or after-work hours play. Instead, I’m forced to  do everything on my own.

They say a person’s co-teacher is their lifeline to Korean culture and they can make or break your experience. I believe it.  I’m fighting feeling broken. Without a decent co-teacher/host to the country, I feel like a baby in a basket left on the doorstep of a home, which refuses to open its door.

On the other hand, it helps to know I’m not alone. It’s not that misery loves company, but it helps to know that despite your own situation, things could always be much much worse.  No, life didn’t single me out with hardship or have a personal hit list with my name on it. I know others are battling similar issues like mine,  are dealing with unacceptable living conditions or bad teaching experiences.  In certain aspects, I would be considered lucky.

Cultural differences or seeing strange and off-putting foods.
I won’t lie, I should’ve never tried that silkworm larvae bug snack so early off in my arrival.  It’s made me even more acutely suspicious of foreign scents since. Every time I catch a whiff of that scent, I lose my appetite for all food; either that, or all food feels like it tastes like it. Obviously, the hardest cultural differences I’ve experienced is my vegetarian habits and the food trust issues I’ve been battling…

It’s said that at some point, every expat finds him/herself undergoing this process of culture shock and depression.
Never mind, how open-minded and travel-ready you feel yourself to be.  Could I have researched the country? Learned the language? Had a clue of what I’d be encountering as a vegetarian or expat? To all  these questions, I adamantly shout,“Yes!”

I could have and did research my move on some level of preparation. But not everything is contained in a guidebook, in a language lesson  or in online travel forums…  some things have to be lived.

Do I whine? Yup. Do I bitch & moan? Wouldn’t be human if I didn’t. Do I try to get back on that horse if I’ve fallen off? All the time. Will I try many solutions before I give up on something? You can expect it. Is it easy? …

Definitely no.