Getting Lost! Dakshinkali and Lessons on the Nepalese bus!

It is the first day of Dusshain (or Durga Puja) . There’s an air of festivity to the country roadside. Many are making pilgrimages to Dakshinkali whose temple holds regular animal sacrifices (each Tuesday and holidays). Today, in lieu of Dusshain, the temple is said to be “flowing with the blood“. Family- packed motorcycles, passenger-crowded trucks and festively-flagged country buses all decorate the Taudaha roadways. like sparkling Christmas lights.

I  am pilgrimaging out to Dakshinkali and want to take the bus!

Why?

The fronts of country buses are painted in festive design and when over-crowded, there is the secondary art of passengers hanging out from the sides and riding on rooftop.

How to catch a country bus in Nepal

Sometimes, you forget to ask important questions when you travel …like how to take the bus. When I reached the bottom of the hill from Chobhar, I looked for telltale signs of a bus stop.

There were none.

I was standing on Ring Road watching several cars and motorbikes packed with families rolling down the hill on their way to Dakshinkali. But where the hell was the bus stop? I stood next to a roadside shack, selling ice cream.  Two nearby cows reclined up against motorcycles and a couple of sari-clad women hung out in a squat, waiting to see what I would do… I stood and waited up to an hour baffled as to WHY buses were driving past me but not stopping.

When the only boy waiting for the bus with me boarded a passing bus via the “run and hop” method, I started to feel uneasy. Catching a country bus didn’t seem like a passive sport.

Fortunately, I met Sanjju, a handsome 4’10″ – 5′ tall Nepalese guy who was now living in Santa Barbara, CA. He was flying down the road doing “dare-devil wheelies”, training to represent Nepal in a big bike race. While waiting for his entourage of press friends to catch up, he disclosed advice as to how to hail my bus.

It is like hailing a NYC cab- you have to make it apparent you want them to stop for you- wave, flag, whistle if you can… Local Nepalese more “practiced” at the art of boarding a bus have another alternative – when the bus slows, the person runs with it and hops on!

There are NO bus stop signs & buses along the countryside won’t stop unless you “hail” them down.

After some time chatting with Sanju and meeting his press, I hailed and boarded my bus! Over-crowded with passengers, I had to hold onto the side rail to keep from spilling out…finally, I was enroute and living a dream!

All that crazy Indian/Nepalese decoration you see on the outside front of the buses…

Continues INSIDE the bus too and is accompanied with bollywood music blasting from loudspeakers! I call this the “Nepalese Singing Bus” and at the cost of 25Rs (a little under a 25 cents USD), I don’t know why I didn’t try this sooner! The driver section of the cab is decorated with fake garlands and hanging cha-chas which jiggle a dance to the bumps and turns of the bus’s Bolly-roading. Additional cushion seats and an open view of the road are available in the front cab with the driver. Turn around to the back and you’ll see a sea of beautiful brown faces clothed in an array of colorful saris, bangled hands and fez-like cloth hats staring wide-eyed back at you.

How tall is the average Nepalese?

The average male ranges under 5ft tall in height, while the women average 4ft.

As a 5’8″ Asian/Pacific Islander. I am a giant.  I  cannot stand to full height while riding in a Nepalese bus and thus, … I cannot blend. Instead, I stand hunched over, and come to discover the entire bus has their attention fixed upon me for viewing entertainment.

Friendly Seats, Cargo & Livestock.

Nepalese passengers can transport all kinds of cargo and livestock- via back of the bus or on rooftop! How they get them in, on or out during peak crowd conditions, I’ve no idea… My bus had a back door for secondary exits.

But the Nepalese are friendly and accommodating people in general. Standing out as “obviously awkward”, people were thoughtful to offer me seats. The first seat offered had baby vomit on it, so I declined and opted to stand.

Next, I was offered an arm rest to sit on. I was grateful, but still hunched but evermoreso because as I wanted to look out the window . A funeral procession, carrying a body wrapped in white cloth, crossed the road. 

My third seat was at the back of the bus on a heap of grain-filled bags.

There are many rules of etiquette to observe in Nepal, but you gotta wonder if some don’t fall out, when you’re riding the bus

• NO eating with your left hand,
• NO sharing food/drink which has touched your lips (to share drinks, you would “pour” the water into your mouth vs sipping),
• NO blowing your nose while eating”, etc…,

I was a bit surprised that sitting on someone else’s grain bag was not considered offensive and breaking some kind of “NO Ass to Mouth” rule.

Nepalese friendliness and hospitality

It was on the heap of grains that 2 young girls, Latika & Reiju (approx 11yrs) adopted me. At first they whispered to each other, pointing and giggling at me, while looking at my New Balance shoes as if trying to decipher my country. Finally, Reiju leaned over to ask me where i was from. The girls (along with their mothers and Latika’s little sisters) were going to Dakshinkali for Durga Puja. Following their mothers through puja, they pulled me along, while each girl gifted a part of her own puja with me.

(Reiju & Latika)

(Latika, her mom & sisters)

(Women performing puja at the main temple)

the blood of sacrificial goats is the red you see…

(ringing the bells)

(the mischevious one!)

Everyone will tell you that its NOT safe to travel at night and to be home before dark…

but you don’t understand it until night actually falls and you’re trying to find your village in the dark! The economy in Nepal is said to be in bad shape and have been many cases of foreigners & women being robbed or kidnapped. Now having survived the Watts Riots, L.A. earthquakes and NY’s 9-11, I’m part risk-taker, part street-smug cocky and part stupid; meanwhile being from Hawaii, I’m part-naive too. With all those factors, its difficult to say which is the part that manages to elude danger each time.

When I left Dakshinkali under the wing of my new friends and their mothers on the last bus out, it was still daylight. But sunset came swiftly and before i knew it, night fell and it was very very VERY DARK. (PITCH BLACK to be specific)

• Panic #1: Street lights seem as uncommon to country villages as are bus stop signs, and not thinking to have left a bread crumb “count trail of stops” along the way, I wasn’t sure where or if there would be a Chobhar stop.
• Panic #2: IF there was a Chobhar stop, there was an 10 minute obstacle course up a winding hillside road to the village and then to my resort stay. I poured thru options – each feeling either flawed or fucked depending upon the equations of inadequate information.
• Panic #3: Translations to English were weak which didn’t help. Somewhere along the lines I was charged 125 Rs bus fare, due to a situation of “communication failure” (or tourist extortion).
• Panic #4:  Panic was setting in. Man, woman or child- NO ONE on that bus thought it was safe for me to get off of the bus alone to find my way in the dark. Finally, communication breakthrough- the fare collector/extortionist eventually affirmed a Chobhar stop!

Tip: Always carry a flashlight when you’re in Nepal

When the bus left me at my stop, all the light had left with it. The night sky and the stars were a brief consolation (If you can see the stars then all is not completely dark & stars don’t move, so you can navigate by them…that’s what the Ho’okulea did). Fortunately, the hillside wasn’t as deserted as I’d thought- occasionally, a car or motorcycle would drive by and shed light to the path ahead. Another handy tool was my free keychain mini flashlight that I remembered I brought for such emergencies (never discount free- it can sometimes save you). Scared shitless and briskly hoofing it up that hill, i made it back to my hotel and into the safety of a concerned resort manager and an electric lamp with 1/2hr of light left to it.

Should you accept food from locals

Traveling in countries where the water is considered unsafe and leads to bad-baad stomach problems, I adhere to strict “Safe Food Rules” as if it were an ass-tight religion. BUT there is NO EASY WAY to steer clear of food if it’s offered to you out of friendship.

Some people have no problem maintaining strict NOs in their eating standards despite risking hurt feelings to goodwill efforts.

I am NOT one of those people.

When my little friends, excited to have me join them in Durga Puja- offered me a portion of their own prassad from their hands, I took it. When they wanted me to try a berry their mom had given them and pushed it past my pursed lips… I chewed. When they begged me to take chai and roti (aka bread) with them from a sit-down run-down-shack café (BTW- much to my dismay, their mom paid for us all, despite my offering), etc… I ate.  Why? There is no way to pretend to eat it and then secretly toss it out when you have four beautifully eager pair of young eyes awaiting your response!

What can you do?!…

Well, you do what any polite person would- you silently pray “God Bless Germs, please”, then you open your mouth and insert sickness.

Who can say what it really was- bad food, pollution (which there’s a surprising amount in Thamel such that some wear masks), mosquitos, a reaction to the massive quantities of deet i’ve sprayed on myself or all my obsessive paranoia to the food i’ve just taken… I feel myself coming down with a cold. Its mostly in my throat. For now, I take an Airborne & leave it up to Durga.

Still Breathing, Me