The Yoga of Travel: GRRRL SOLO- Part I (A New York Valentine’s Special)
“Two hearts and a table for one”
February 15, 2009
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Honey,…Dearest,… Babe… & The Stamp of Being SOLO.
You don’t have to be an ANTI-VALENTINES DAY grinch or a PRO V-DAY supporter. But who said if you’re solo, you can’t celebrate Valentines day as well?
In the winter chill of Manhattan, being and going SOLO can feel difficult but it is often the adopted lifestyle for a Manhattan culture absorbed in the climb of skyscraping ambitions. Soloists are definitely not alone. In NYC, “solo” is not necessarily a humiliating stamp of being an ‘unloved’ ogre but generally means you’re in a stronger and more passionate relationship ….with your career (pbbbt!). However, there are still uncomfortable moments of realization and places like restaurants, clubs or events, where being TWO feels like it would be so much better than being ONE.
Turn the clocks and To Do lists off… just go with the flow of what you feel like you really WANT to do…
Valentines Day! A perfect day for me to pamper the most passionate Love/Hate in my life- myself. My theme this 2009 – “healthy pampering” and “Anti-NYC flow”. This means SLOW with occasional naps, a breakfast of yogurt and granola, wasteful but fun tinkering and long strolling walks. I treat myself to some yoga goodness with my favorite Jivamukti yoga teacher, Dechen and then dinner at Souen, a macrobiotic restaurant near Union Square (which happens to be crowded due to V-Day!).
SOLO Dining on Valentine’s Day-
Ooh, tough call & shoulder shrugs… Solo dining is one thing, but to do so on Valentine’s Day takes not only heart but guts! Fortunately, my desire to healthy-pamper myself and feed my after-yoga-workout stomach yowl not only had heart but also cried louder than guts. I hungrily and (quite excitedly) marched in, put myself on the 20 min wait list and fantasized about my possible macrobiotic meal options!
The Love Story: Myself and I
A vacant chair sat at the other end of my table. Without a hitch and I unconsciously plunked down my bulky winter coat and bag, using the chair as a “coat check”. I realized how this gesture alone, mirrored the kind of relationship I’ve had with myself over the years. Being a busy, career-minded residential New Yorker, I didn’t initially see an empty seat but something purposeful, utilitarian and now…full. But there were deeper underlying issues that I knew my actions tonight now were trying to ammend. This Valentine’s Day evening- I WANT TO HEART…ME!
Now when single people give you that rally “Celebrate yourself!” ( & P.S. Try to block out the fact you’re single and at times, FEEL it ) it almost sounds like some pathetic and dying war cry that you hear on the side that’s losing. How do you celebrate your SOLO or date it, when solo gets to feeling like a “lack”– a half full version of YOU?
…Hooray for me, i’m alone!?…
The restaurant crowd: a few singles (donning the I-am-pretending-to-be-absorbed-in-my-book look ) , a handful of GRRRL night out consolations and above all, “the Romantic Couples”. Dining next to me – a Boy/Girl couple was having their “everything dripping with hearts & roses” evening; however, more than periodically, I’d notice The Boy “checking me out”! This was disturbing even to my own notions of romance and moreso uncomfortable when The Girl caught on and began following his gaze over to me. Suddenly, it occurred to me with this date I was having with my SOLO self , a vacant chair and a shifty-eyed “romantic” couple…
As “my own partner”, i’m actually quite abusive to Myself at times and quite often my own shitty date! Occasionally, I either ignore Myself’s need for pampering or I dump unnecessarily cruel and self-loathing criticisms upon it by being self-demanding and impatient. Sometimes, I think of Myself’ as “a void…a lack” (a harsh vacancy in the Motel of Love) and expect it to be filled by some external preoccupance like work, money or a lover …Seriously, it’s a wonder how I still stay with Myself !
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BUT it dawned on me
…”I” will never …
break up with Myself,
cheat on Myself, leave,
or even divorce Myself!
I will only ever be faithful. Amen.
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Finding Two Hearts at a Table for One.
MYSELF & I have made it through thick and thin, good times and bad and we will continue to make it through with cheers, support, laughter, cries, fights, etc.. We’ll continue to surprise and learn new things about ourselves until we’re old or dead. There can still be romance and poetry together in life as long as we’re listening to each other and despite how bad times get – Myself will always be there for me. This is a FOREVER kind a love; and thus, for it to be a TRUE one, I need to start treating Myself… better!
(And when I looked down into my ‘Half & Half Soup’ (you can order 2 different soups to be mixed into one bowl- mine is miso and split pea), I literally found 2 hearts! Now how’s that for a sign?…)There was romance in the air and it wasn’t coming from the Valentine couples. I think I need to make Valentines Day an everyday affair and date my SOLO more often!
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Souen Restaurant 28 E 13th St # 1
New York, NY 10003
between University Pl and 5th Ave
212-627-7150
website: http://www.souen.net/
