- Uday
Sunday, Oct 5, 2008. Varanasi
As raw as Varanasi seems, there’s a humor to it. It takes a while to find, but if you do, you might just fall in love with this city.
This is something a fellow backpacker, a U.K. gent, told me on my first day in Varanasi after the initial culture shock had settled into me and I was contemplating getting the next flight back to Delhi. I’m glad I remembered what he said because I remember it to this day and this is the best way I can explain Varanasi to others.Afterall, what can you possibly find funny about a polluted city, dirty and raggedy streets occupied by lazy cows, dodging touts and sketchy folk, who spit betelnut juice out in front of you?
Well, somehow if you look, you do find the humor in Varanasi, as you do with a lot of India.
And it invites you just laugh with this city…
- Guru Sai Baba (a well-known Indian saint) Humor: Baba Black Sheep?
- cows
- cows in india
- Airport workers playing cricket
- indian monkey
Mr. Uday Singh and The Underbelly Tour
NOT having a patience for touristy things, I walk the streets and come upon Uday Singh, a “palmist” who tries to read my palm…badly. We go to his “friend’s” store and from the surprised looks I am getting from the people who know him, I know he’s trying to play a fiddle with an invisible banjo! Yup, live scam here. But Uday is a harmless ‘storytelling’ (aka ‘liar’) sort, whom I quickly realize can fill my day with a few theatrics and possibly unique experiences. I decide to let Uday work for his 100 Rs ($2) and tell Uday that while he doesn’t have to be accurate, he does have to be entertaining. With that, he proceeds to show me the “unofficial” sights of Varanasi.
Aside from my palm reading, Uday takes me on a tour of his friends’ house temples, some larger community ones, the Monkey Temple, explanations of temple rituals and regaling stories of random fact-fiction-or-fantasy.
- temple in varanasi
Devotees bring Ganga water in tiny cup bowls for worship, using it to anoint statues of their gods, while offering anything from flower garlands, thrown petals and sweets. Thousands make pilgrimages throughout the day, trekking in and out of temples with Varanasi “street feet”. (Street feet mixed ganga water is enough to make a slightly gross watery mud, which you will put back into your sock or shoes)
Most of the temples like the homes here are dark – lit either by candlelight and daylight- making the god’s statues barely visible. Here, in Varanasi, apparently even the gods live in darkness.
Number one rule of Hindu temples:
When entering temples, … YOU HAVE TO TAKE YOUR SHOES OFF!
Sorry, but it’s an unavoidable rule. With all the cow poo and pissing that goes on in the streets, removing footwear is the last thing you want to do. So, I walked with cupped feet.
- no shoes
An explanation of ‘How Indians perform their temple ritual’ | from the Uday Singh Tour
(unfortunately, you will not have the pleasure of seeing how he performed this for me, but I will put his added dialogue and acting in parenthesis):
Leading me through a Shiva temple, Uday begins…
After you enter the temple…
1) “You ring bell as if ringing the doorbell of a house you wish to enter. Here, you are calling on God’s house”
( knock-knock, ring bell) “Hello God- are you home?”
2) “Stand in front of altar and make your offering of flowers-food-money”
“God- I bring you a housewarming gift “
3) “Touch statue & then lightly touch between your brows and then to heart. This is prayer for the spirit of god to enter you.”
‘God, you are in my heart & spirit”
4) “Make your prayer and tell God what you want”
5) Take Prasad from the priest. (Prasad is like an exchange “gift” in the form of a red tikka or dot between the eyebrows, a sweet or a rope tie)
God says “Thank you, please come again”
Uday is pretty damned good, right?
But then, Uday Singh touches a dripping Ganga altar with both his hands and roughly smears the Ganga water all over my face and then takes prassad and force feeds it into my pursed germaphobe lips.
The Rising Ganges and it’s water height
An interesting fact in Varanasi is that the water height changes. On the ghats, you see temples and guesthouses/hotels, etc… raised high and with steps leading up to it answering the call of a really challenging Step-Aerobics class. This is because during monsoon season the water levels can get pretty high and half of the original ghats in Varanasi are submerged under water.
- Temple flooded by Ganges River
Tonight I am off to attend the evening Aarti at the main ghat with Lee. The performance starts at 7P ; I hear it’s beautiful and not to be missed. I shall take dinner and then get dressed and go. Have to run now.
Related Varanasi Posts:
• Ghat Life in Varanasi
• Varanasi Stains
• The Lessons of a first-time Solo Traveler in India
• Nightmare Hotel in Varanasi
• Video: “Sunrise on the Ganges”, Varanasi
• Video: Varanasi’s Ganga Aarti
• Photo Essay: Dostana
• Travel Tips for India
[...] …My boat cruise down the ganges at 6A felt beautifully special …and not, with reason that at least a 100 of other tourist boats were out on the waters racing to make the length of the Ganges before sunrise! By boat is the only way to see the overall bathing ghat life, morning sun salutations, chanting, meditations, yoga postures and people washing their clothes on Ganges. Man, woman and child are there- a dip in the Ganga water is considered holy and purifying, so many lather up and take a baths in it too! Most are so devout and absorbed in their water ritual, they can be nonchalant about the 100+ tourists boats observing and photographing their every move. [Excerpt from "Varanasi's Humorous Underbelly"-- Click here for actual blog...] [...]