Comments on: JSMP! When your Expat Honeymoon Fades (Hitting the 6-month mark)

By: Christine Ka'aloa

Christine Ka'aloa — Fri, 29 Oct 2010 08:51:50 +0000

In reply to Chris. @Chris: Yes, I think you're totally right. Although, I wouldn't say deep connections are even necessary at that point. Usually, a connection is just a God-send to your life period. Ha ha...

By: Chris

Chris — Wed, 27 Oct 2010 05:15:22 +0000

I think we all go through that period when everything just doesn’t seem to fit and it can extremely frustrating. The real bright light is when you develop deep connections with people and they make it seem much more livable.

By: Rachel

Rachel — Thu, 21 Oct 2010 04:33:16 +0000

As an expat of four years (today is actually my four year anniversary) I know where you’re coming from. It’s a bit different for me, I live in Korea with my husband and two year old son (who was born in Korea). I’ve been fortunate to have jobs where I was loved, translated for and treated well.

I got his with spam for lunch today and had a moment of rebellion. Every time I hit the freak out “I hate this place” point, I remind myself of the things I love. I got out and eat shabu shabu or take a stroll through the rice paddies.

6 months really is the big culture shock/hate point… I got pregnant after 8 months in Korea so that sort of broke up my hate period.

Push through, it gets better.

By: Christine Ka'aloa

Christine Ka'aloa — Mon, 04 Oct 2010 15:49:14 +0000

In reply to Norman.

@Norman: Thanks for dropping in–you are so right about taking a long term view! That’s sometimes the hard part– you cross the midway mark and frustration with the culture mixes with the tempting knowledge there is potential freedom on the other end if you choose it. There’s also many factors surrounding frustration w/ this culture: as someone who gets confused as a local, you experience the pressure and expectations a culture has for its locals and these are all cultural differences that either you don’t know or are still learning… it’s not your roots or upbringing. Korean culture is less lenient with its own kind, while it gives much freedom and tolerance to outsiders. For instance, if I’m with other expats & they’re being loud, Koreans look at/scold ME and expect me to discipline my friends. Not to mention, I’m proud of my U.S. multi-ethnic roots; sometimes, you just want that recognized.

By: Norman

Norman — Sat, 02 Oct 2010 17:57:11 +0000

I was fascinated by your comments about looking Korean in Korea. I live in the Netherlands, an Dutch by background long time ago, but American by birth. So people think I’m native Dutch until I open my mouth.
I speak good Dutch but with an accent, and still struggle with the look on people’s faces as I see them realize that something is different about this guy.
After 20+ years it still bugs me…
Anyway – good blog, well written.
One piece of advice: take a long term view – it’s worth it.

By: Christine Ka'aloa

Christine Ka'aloa — Tue, 28 Sep 2010 07:42:11 +0000

In reply to Amanda. @Amanda: I get the impression many people are struggling over that hump right now. Might've had to do w/ that awesome getaway break, where we could re-experience a life of few compromises and of somewhat normalcy... or at least different foods ! Squid, fish, whew. I'm even getting pickier about my kimchi these days. ;-(

By: Amanda

Amanda — Mon, 27 Sep 2010 01:51:54 +0000

Oh Christine… I am in the same phase as you… but you seem to have much more patience and optimism than I do. I am finding it harder and harder to smile each day. I’m jealous that you still find the willpower and inspiration to write. My blog has been untouched for almost 2 weeks. School lunches are one of the largest catalysts for this Korea hatred lol. Squid AGAIN!?!?

We will get through this.

By: Christine Ka'aloa

Christine Ka'aloa — Sat, 18 Sep 2010 20:08:35 +0000

In reply to Laura in Cancun. @Laura: Thanks. Coming from you it means a lot. Your story turned out so wonderful and you love your new country like a native. I realize I'm probably going thru a withdrawal funk or something but fingers crossed it passes soon. I've got to get thru 6 more months!

By: Laura in Cancun

Laura in Cancun — Sat, 18 Sep 2010 01:51:41 +0000

Your upcoming island trip sounds fun!

Oh, the hate phase of culture shock… I know it well. The “me vs them” mentality definitely sounds familiar. For about a year, I hated EVERYTHING. Any little thing would piss me off.

Trust me, it will pass 🙂