Finding your Solo Travel G-spots & ME-gasms

Last Updated on June 30, 2025 by Christine Kaaloa

Uh oh ohhh… Here it comes. The feeling of power ripped through me as a surge of exhilaration. The boat was bouncing, skimming off the waters, but that wasn’t it.

Ohhhh…Wow!

I wanted to scream. The feeling was overwhelming. But maybe screaming was too much. I didn’t want people to hear. I didn’twant to call attention to myself or to this momentum of private ecstasy.

Wow, this is lasting a long time. Please don’t let it end…  Holy crap.  It’s still going…  Still?…

I was on Inle Lake, in the middle of Myanmar, on a boat lined with five other travelers, I just met. Still, I was all alone.

The wind was wildly racing against me and as I sat, soaking in the Burmese summer heat, my thoughts drifted back…

It had been a little over a week ago that I was looking at National Geographic photos of Burmese fisherman, paddling oars with their feet, imagining how magnificent it would be to see them in person.

Me, traveling to Burma alone? Hah.

Honestly, I was a chicken. But a few days later, I found myself booking my flight, and the very next week I was there.

Yangon, Bagan,… this was my third stop: Inle Lake. I had gotten here by myself… on this lake in the middle of Myanmar. I crossed the Thai border alone into this awesome and gorgeous country, to be here, witnessing these simple fishermen, who were legends to me.

A cocktail of surprise overwhelm and proud realization rocketed through me. I was mind-blown.  This unbelievable dream… I made it happen. I couldn’t believe it. But that wasn’t only it… It was me. I couldn’t believe me.

I was having a ME-gasm.

Looking at this photo you wouldn’t suspect I was having a “ME-gasm”. Did I tell you I’m a very good actress?

What the hell is a solo travel Me-gasm?

I feel I should be smoking a cigarette or swearing like a sailor, so excuse the cursing in this post… Any journey with a partner, friends/family or tour, will have it’s highs, lows and epiphanies.

That’s the automatic perk of travel. It broadens your perspective and sense of place in the world.

But when you travel solo as a woman, you undergo some powerful moments of self-realization, that’s better than any kundalini-ramayama-mama or yummy yoga-tastic session.

With solo travel, there’s a depth and aliveness you feel at that words can’t adequately compensate for. It’s that feeling of complete self-satisfaction with decisions that felt hard to make, with tricky travel obstacles you overcame to bring you into this physical Here and Now. And it’s the utter self-awe that radically awakens you to know how awesome you are! This high is a travel  “ME-gasm“.

And it’s perfectly okay to like it!

Unfortunately, it’s not a place you can get to when you’re with others.

Had I been on that lake with a partner or companion, it wouldn’t have been the same. I wouldn’t have felt the “getting there” was my accomplishment and that’s the prime component of a ME-gasm.

A ME-gasm comes with having accomplished solo feats without the safety net of someone to hold your hand through it.  Orgasms wear off pretty quickly. But ME-gasms do not.

Although the euphoria of it wears off, you gain a tough confidence and a knotch in your “badassery” belt that adds to your next journey and life. It moves you to conquer your next obstacle and next.

Traveling solo can feel scary to most women — I, myself, have my moments too, where I second guess and doubt my abilities to travel to certain countries solo.  Your fear, heightens a ME-gasm– the bigger the fear, the stronger the euphoria and inner drive/ cahones to tackle the next project and bigger dreams.

Can a guy have a travel me-gasm?

I’m not a guy– so I wouldn’t know the direct answer to that– I don’t see why not.  I suspect guys can experience highs too when it comes to self-realizations. If there’s some solo traveling men out there, I’m sure we women would love to know…

My first ME-gasm

One of my first memorable solo travel me-gasms came from experiencing my crash course lesson in solo travel in India. It came after I abruptly separated from friends, who were content to stay on a tour we were swindled into.  I didn’t want to experience India – for the first time and potentially the last- in such a fashion. Boom!

First time alone traveling a developing country and it’s India… I was both, freaking out and trying not to. When you get thrown into the sea for the first time, you do exactly what babies thrown into a pool for the first time, do. You survive. You start kicking your feet and treading water to keep from drowning.

As challenging as India felt, the more I got used to it (and to the “treading water” part), I began realizing- “Hey, I got this. This solo thing is ‘Do-able’. ”

Solo travel as one long bungee jump, where you’re screaming partially from mortification, culture shock and at the “I’m so screwed” moments. But the scream is partially also excitement from the liberation you feel, when you overcome all those self- perceived obstacles, great and small.  

The greater that obstacle, the more intense a ME-gasm.

Traveling alone, I was living on “the edge of my life” for the very first time, feeling alive and like I had walked into an action-adventure movie, where I and I alone, was the star heroine.

I was starring in my own life and I wanted to scream at the top of my lungs, “I am surviving this on my own. I am amazing! SHE-raaaaah!”  Kinda cheesy, like that squinched up face people make in sex, but that was my first ME-gasm.

Finding your solo travel G-spot

Traveling solo, you are forced to learn about yourself pretty quickly through active discovery. You can have multiple and endless ME-gasms. Everything you do that you perceived self-doubt, will give you disbelief on many varying levels of ME-gasm, both earth-shattering and tiny, like a tickle. You withdrew money from an ATM abroad, your first ride on a BTS Skytrain in Bangkok… every ME-gasm fills you up with euphoric wonder, empowerment and new understanding of what you’re capable of.

But a solo travel G-spot is different.

Solo travel forces us into self-exploration, where we not only have to engineer our trip and navigate a new environment without safety nets, but we also have to figure out how we work.  Sadly, as a soloist, it takes a while to locate your solo travel G-spot…. and to understand it. 

Now I admit, when other solo travelers, try to entice me with words like “self-empowerment” and “self-exploration”, it doesn’t inspire me to tear off my fears and race to solo travel.

Why travel alone for self-exploration, when you can grab a good Anthony Robbins self-help book and chant OMs in a yoga class?

Orchestrating trip plans alone, you’re slammed with tricky incidental decisions like where to leave your backpack when you have to pee, navigating the city metro system or encountering ‘what if’ fears. But finding your travel Gspot is discovering what is going to turn you on, when you’re filled with limitless choices.

Last week, I read an article by Jill Filipovic on The Guardian Do yourself a favor: Travel Solo at least once“.

I too recovered from my first heartbreak through France. France will put a bandaid on any bruised heart and make you feel sexy for waking up each day. But I digress…

What I commend Filipovic for is mentioning that the meat and bones of “solo cool” is the internal experience. It’s when you’re forced to make all the decisions on your own, experiencing both, the highs and lows of those decisions.

For a woman alone, deciding where you want to go may appear small on the surface, but in reality, it can feel like an existential question that opens a can of worms. I’ve traveled a good handful of exotic cities, where I drifted aimlessly in for almost a day, not knowing what the hell I wanted to do. I felt ridiculous!

The whole world was my oyster and I didn’t know where to start.

Instead, I sat there staring at my oyster dumb-founded. It just sat there quiet.

And it occurred to me, I didn’t know my own travel G-spot.

I didn’t know what the hell I really wanted to do in that city and I felt lost.

Decisions are often the result of parameters and limitations.

In partner travel, a parameter can be a partner’s dietary “no-no”s, which kills off a majority of restaurants in walking distance from your hotel, maybe it’s their physical endurance or unwillingness to go to “just one more” museum.

When you’re solo, your sole accountability is yourself.

There are no parameters and your options are many and it’s overwhelming. The travel g-spot predicament arises —

What do you really want to do while you’re here? What do you feel like eating- what restaurant do you want to sit down at to try their food?   What hits your excitement button and is gonna turn you on and light you up about your day?

Traveling alone you have moments where you realize you’re clueless about yourself.

When discovering yourself, sometimes you have to fumble around in the dark until a light in you turns on.

Who knew a simple day’s itinerary would turn into such an existential question?

Traveling solo,  you need to learn how to gauge situations and people, like knowing whether the stranger talking to you is safe or trying to pull a scam on you.

When I was in Marrakesh, a very young and handsome Moroccan shop manager invited me in for tea. Yes, tea. A young boy came with a tray and two cups of fragrant sweet tea and for a stretch of minutes, which felt like an hour. My mind raced back and forth, trying to decipher if the tea was boiled well to kill the bacteria or laced with a knock-out drug, ..  was he trying to get me to buy stuff in his store,… or was just trying to pick me up?

Come to find out, he was just trying to get to know me, to see if I wanted to go out dancing. The Moroccan shop manager was safe.

It was the man “dressed as a police man“, who offered to guide me out of the maze of streets– when I was lost– who turned out to be a scammer, luring me into a shop where he’d get a commission.

As soloists, we make decisions, deal with mistakes, learn to trust our gut and boldly step into the unknown. The internal destinations we arrive at can be remarkable, because now, we’re stepping into the adventure versus reading about someone else’s.

Which is the more adventurous sex?

Traveling alone, especially if you’re a woman, is a journey that takes cahones to do.

For first timers, it’s not an easy decision.

Even though I had traveled through a handful of countries alone, there were many times, where I wasn’t completely convinced I wanted to do it again.

A solo traveling man is often seen as Adventuresome,  A Lone Wolf ,  Pioneer .

What are images you conjure when you hear “solo female traveler”?

I’ll tell you how I used to think of female solo travelers (before I became one)-

Lonely, Wounded, Desperate and Unloved…

A spinster with long leg hairs.

Okay, I’m ashamed to share all that, but it’s what I used to think.

How could my unconscious images change so drastically, based on sex?

 Women are not naturally conditioned to see themselves as an adventurous species.

Women are not raised to see “solo” as adventurous or sexy (Read Is it safe for women to travel alone). We are taught that solo means lonely.

We don’t have enough female action role models, to make female solo adventures more attractive than Cinderella stories and romantic Harlequinn novels, where the “heroines” are swept off their feet by a hero.

Where Wonder Woman, her bust-filled corset and her invisible jet fit into the bill, I don’t know…

But obviously, she was good for Neilson ratings in the 70’s and stuck around for three seasons.

Then came Charlie’s Angels, where sexy and smart female detectives sleuthed dangerous crimes
( btw- I still have my ‘Chris’ action doll and trading cards).

These days, what female action figure have we to remind us that solo adventures can be sexy?

Maybe the closest we have to a successfully tough and sexy solo action-adventure figure is …

Thank you, Angelina Jolie for playing the role of ‘Lara Croft’ (in the film, Tomb Raider)

One of the Filipovic’s last lines in her article is about her solo realization of how far she’s come: “And then it’s the moment of: I am here, right now, doing this.”

Those aren’t just words.

That’s a ME-gasm. And it’s okay to like it.

Have you had a “ME-gasm” lately?  Wanna share? Do you have trouble finding your travel G-spot? Who are some of your solo adventure role models- man or woman?  If you’re a male solo traveler, do you have me-gasms?